Unique Gifts...Who am I to tell you how to find one?

That's a long story, and it's told below.  So, just let me just say this:

I'll never give chocolate-covered cherries to anyone ever again.

I'm Patti Moyer, and as a reformed horrid gift giver, I've learned some techniques and tips to ease the burden of finding or shopping for the perfect unique gifts.

After all, who has the time to find those one-of-a-kind gifts for showers, graduations, birthdays, in-laws, bosses, or boyfriends of just one month? 

And, how about tips to meet all the usual, unusual, and frankly, at times, awkward situations we all encounter when put on the "gift-giving" spot. 

Even if you are already a great gift giver, I think you'll find some insight here. And, if you feel like it, drop me a note on some of your successes. And, don't forget those failures. I've had them. But none quite so awful as the tale of a Christmas gift exchange gone horribly wrong...

Learn to enjoy the gift giving process or just enhance your already awesome and unique gift giving skills. 

Patti

“A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect.” 
― Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Sad Tale of the
Chocolate
Covered Cherries

or, the unique gift that was not so... unique 

It’s a hard admission to make, but I was once a terrible gift giver.

In fact, I almost lost my best friend because of this flaw.

I blame my mom – sorry for the tire marks, Mom.

She was the most frugal person I ever knew. And that was a good thing...most of the time.

But, when it came to giving your absolutely bestest friend in the world a unique and thoughtful Christmas present, her advice was not always the best.

This is the story of the Chocolate Covered Cherries and the fatal flaw many, many people make when giving gifts

Once Upon a Time...
I was not a unique gift giver,
to say the least

Let me start by saying, I like chocolate-covered cherries. Who wouldn’t?

Before the haters chime in, let me say that the ads alone convinced me that this was a sublime treat.

The discount price of $2.99 made it a perfect gift for an 8 year old with little money.

And, my mom thought it would be the most appropriate gift to give my all-time most best-est friend at our Christmas gift exchange.

Just one little thing,

...or actually two.

It turns out my friend wasn’t crazy about cherries,

and the chocolate made her skin break out.

But, when you are 8 and your Mom is paying for the gift, you listen. Brought up in Ireland with no money for candy or sugar or treats, she could not believe anyone would balk at a luscious “maraschino cherry, suspended in a creamy center and enrobed with smooth milk chocolate.”

Those are the seductive words on the box of Queen Anne Chocolate Covered Cherries.

My mom convinced me they were perfect. So much so that she bought them for my best friend Christmas gift exchange for the second year, and a even a third year. 

I was on gift giving auto-pilot.

Meanwhile, I remained blissfully unaware of my friend’s growing loathing for the confection. Each year, we politely thanked each other for our Christmas gifts and our Mom’s continued to drink their tea, eat their biscuits, and beam at us.

This went on for 3 years and I was in happy ignorance.

Until that 4th Christmas.

The Worst gift giving
experience of my life

I was now a worldly 12 years old and just beginning to feel a little squeamish about the "giving the same gift every year" thing. But, my mom was adamant. “She’s always politely thanked you, so I don’t see the problem.”

That fateful year, sitting in the perfect living room at my friend’s home with our mom’s looking on, I took a deep breath as I handed over the beautifully wrapped gift. My friend glanced at her mom. She sighed resignedly and opened the all too familiar rectangle box. She held it up and said, “cherries again,” with a forced “yay” that fell like a thud at my feet.

She again glanced at her mom who mouthed, “it’s ok.”

“OK?!”

O.k.

Oh... kay.

For the first time in my life I felt gift shamed.

I’d goofed. I hadn’t for one second thought of her and what she may actually like. I took a back seat to the gifting because it was the easy path.

And, can I tell you what she got me?

Actually, no.

But, I’m sure it was great.

All memory of that gift exchange is drowned in embarrassment, shame, and remorse. I didn't once think about what my friend would like and enjoy. 

And, what wouldn't end up in the garbage can.

But, even worse, I thought I’d lost my best friend.

Lessons Learned About
Great and Unique
Gifting

The lesson I learned that horrible afternoon: Know your audience.

It's a flaw I see in many when trying to find the "right" gift.

I've learned find out what they like. It's not that hard.

If you’ve known the person for more than a few  minutes the clues are all around in what they listen to, wear, talk about, do in their spare time, dream about.

Ok, I admit, it does take a little observation and a hint of inspiration.

But, no matter if you truly want to get a gift or, in many cases you feel you are under-the- gun to get one, remember this:

Gift giving is personal.

It's a message to the receiver about your relationship.

It's a testament to your thoughtfulness, sense of humor, or just plain humanity.

Overstated?  Maybe.

But, I've been in the dog house for my gifting behavior and I bet many others have been as well.

And, I've been on the receiving end of a bad gift experience.

It's not pretty and it's hard to recover from.

In the chocolate cherry debacle, I defaulted to giving just any convenient gift to get through the moment.

Not a rewarding strategy.

I learned that at one very awkward tea party.

I’ve never forgotten.  And, I’ve slowly gotten better.

So, what did I get for that best friend this year – decades later?

First, yes, she did forgave me. And, from then on I took the time to figure out what she would really like to have within my meagre budget. As babysitting money, and post college career money came in, I got pretty good at gifting, even when channeling my thrifty mom.

Am I perfect.

No. And I never will be.

Gift Giving Redemption
takes just a little more effort

In the end, I won back my best friend and have never looked at a chocolate covered cherry again. This year, although we are thousands of miles apart, I believe I have found a gift that will continue to fuel one of her passions.

I sent her...

Rare and unusual spices from around the world.

She’s an awesome home chef and loves the exotic.

I think maybe, just maybe, the "exotic" enrobed cherries might have been a good first choice after all.

Maybe...

But, for one Christmas only.

To Your Great Gift Giving,

Patti

P.S. Remember to observe your gift recipient. Or just ask questions.

I hope that here we will give you some inspiration.